Turning A ‘Bad Day’ Around.
Undoubtedly life can be full of frustrations - an argument over breakfast, a missed train or even just a spilled coffee can make you flare up with angst and annoyance, only to hold onto that inner rage for large periods of time.
So, how best then to turn your funk around? How does one change their mood when a day has started badly? And how do you stop annoyances from taking over and dragging you down?
The good news is that happiness is a choice. Even when something objectively negative happens - you’re late to a meeting or your best employee gives notice - it’s important to focus on the positive things that are also happening.
Studies in the workplace have shown that when you’re positive, you’re 31% more productive; you’re 40% more likely to receive a promotion; you have 23% fewer health-related effects from stress; and your creativity rates triple.”
The problem with discontent is that a) it can linger and b) it’s contagious. Negative emotions have a way of manifesting themselves well beyond their original driver. They also spread like wildfire so it’s well worth changing your mood not only to make your day more pleasant and productive but also to spare those around you.
Here are a few concepts and ideas to execute when you feel as if you are a little low, flat or have hit a bit of a downward spiral:
1. Pinpoint The Problem
The earlier you catch your funk or bad mood, the easier it will be to do something about it. Usually we receive early warning signals that tell us our resilience is dwindling. It is therefore worth pausing for a few minutes, several times a day to check your emotional state - perhaps you’re being snappy with people, not smiling as much or are quieter than normal.
Not only is it important to pinpoint what is going on but it is also important to name what’s going on. It’s better to say, “I’m upset because I’m behind on preparing this presentation or the journey into work today was horrendous or that argument at breakfast has annoyed me,” rather than simply saying “I feel awful.” Having a concrete reason for your unhappiness gives you something to work on going forward.
2. Take A Moment To Be Grateful
One of the simplest ways to focus on the positive is to stop and think about what you’re most grateful for, whether it’s your family, your job or simply the clothes on your back. Neuroimaging studies show that it’s almost impossible to be in a depressed state and grateful at the same time and that gratitude is a powerful antidote to the urgency of stress and lack of control.
So as soon as you start to feel down or negative, kill that mood swing by asking yourself, what are three good things that are going on right now? Either say them out loud or write them down. This will undoubtedly help you get perspective on your current or upcoming negative emotions. Sure, you may have had a prang or missed an appointment but there are other, much more important things in your life that are just fine thank you very much.
3. Take Action
Another way to stop yourself from ‘trending negatively’ is to take a single concrete action. Send that email that you’ve been meaning to get to or make that phone call that you’ve been putting off. Even choosing a healthier snack, such as a piece of fruit over a chocolate bar, can create a positive ‘mental avalanche.’
The effect is even stronger if the action you take benefits someone else. Your head might be buried in your companies numbers or latest presentation, or you might be in a hurry as you are running late for an important appointment but if you just take two minutes to send an email praising or thanking a colleague for their assistance or if you help an elderly person who is struggling to cross the street, you’ll immediately feel so much better. The brain reacts as if it has recorded a victory.
4. Change Your Routine
If you’re feeling depressed or miserable, don’t hunker down for the rest of the day and escape. A change of scenery often helps signal to your brain that the current mood doesn’t need to be sustained. Go for a drive or a cycle, take a walk or simply do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. The key is to put yourself in a different physical location. Once you’re doing it or are there, take a few slow deep breaths as correct breathing helps to positively affect your physiology and in turn your brain.
You can also do something you enjoy like listening to music or reading a book; going to the gym or for a run. The more active the task the better. Passive tasks help create pleasure but active tasks have a far greater impact on creating happiness as their intensity tends to last longer.
5. Reset Realistic Expectations
Expectations can have a huge impact on mood. If you expect your flight to be cancelled and it’s only three hours delayed you’re going to be thrilled but if you expect it to be precisely on time and then it’s delayed you’re going to be upset. A lot of negative mood swings occur when we have unrealistic expectations. That can be with regard to many things, even our family and friends!
If you’re mood is deteriorating for this reason, do not despair. It is possible to re-write the narrative. Highlight the positives of your day so far. Think of two or three things you’ve already done which turned out well. Then make a list of short attainable goals for the rest of the day. This way you can remember and re-focus on the positives at the same time.
6. Learn From Your Bad Days To Prevent Future Ones
When you do have a bad day, and let’s face it we all do, it’s important to reflect on them before you put them behind you. By taking note of what went wrong - and then right - you can learn what your own ‘triggers’ are so you can stay away from these particular stimuli as much as possible or at least know how you are likely to react to them.
Definitely pay attention if and when bad days pile up. Is there something bigger going on that you need to address? Is there broader action that you need to take? Gleaning the right person’s help here can be extremely useful.
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A Game Changer says…
The essence of our work is to help clients develop successful strategies and methodologies so they can perform confidently, positively and contently in whatever capacity they require.
Helping people to feel ‘unstuck’ and providing clarity for them is vitally important. This is something that as human beings we all require at one stage or another in our incredibly hectic and often stressful lives.
With day to day emotional issues such as anger, sadness, frustration etc, it is often an awareness that better choices of action are available which can help. Asking clients to ‘get curious’ and ask lots of questions is one very useful technique for achieving this.
Reframing problematic situations is another. These, plus others, are tried and tested concepts for improving our emotional stability, understanding and forward thinking.
Emotions will always be thrown up. They are wired within us for a reason. It’s how you identify and then subsequently deal with those emotions that is important.
When faced with any potential dilemma or difficult situation, Perspective and Practice are the two key ingredients to progress and a happy outcome.
