15 Phrases We Should Constantly Repeat To Ourselves

We all want to get more done but unfortunately all the time management tips in the world can't help us overcome one of the biggest issues affecting productivity - our mindsets.

Fortunately, it's easier to change your mindset than you might think. All you have to do is change what you say to yourself!

If we're honest, most of us have a negative monologue running in our heads at least once a day and probably a whole lot more. We tell ourselves how tired we are, how disorganised we are and how much we hate having to do certain things.

But what if we told ourselves something different? Whether you say something out loud or inside your head, what you say to yourself matters. Our mind's interpretation of language plays a massive part in how we respond and ultimately perform.

With that in mind, here are 15 phrases that you can use every day and they will help you to achieve harmony, stability and confidence:

1. "I'm going to succeed at _______." When you tell yourself you'll succeed at a specific task, you're contradicting any self-doubt that may hold you back.

2. "I've been successful in the past." Remembering and rehearsing specific past successes helps build self-confidence when in doubt.

3. "I can overcome my fear." Acknowledging your fear is very empowering and making a choice to overcome it will give you the strength and confidence required to help achieve it. There are only two fears that we inherit without choice throughout our life and they occur at birth - fear of falling and fear of loud noises. Any other fear has been developed by choice.

4. "That wasn't as bad as I thought." Many times the things we worry about either never come to fruition or aren't half as bad as expected. By reminding ourselves of this, we empower ourselves to stay positive and think of the best.

5. "I did something no one else was willing to do." Big or small, there's something you've done that no one else wanted to do. By 'patting yourself on the back' for it, you can build good habits.

6. "It's my fault." Taking responsibility for the things we do enables us to apologise when necessary to make a situation better. Just don't blame yourself when it's not your fault!

7. "I got started." The first step is always the hardest and celebrating it is something we do too little of. Always congratulate yourself on getting started.

8. "You're awesome." No one hears this enough but it is true of absolutely everyone. We all have different ways in which we're awesome so take the time to remind yourself.

9. "I don't care what other people think." The truth is that most people think about you and what you do far less than you think, so every so often remind yourself that it's what YOU think that matters.

10. "They're no different than I am." When you start to judge others to lift yourself up, you're giving yourself a false sense of pride. Instead, admit that everyone is more like you than you realise and you'll feel less isolated.

11. "I can do this." Right before you step into a challenging situation remind yourself that you can do this because if you believe you can then you're right!

12. "It's time for an appointment with me." Most of us don't make enough time for ourselves. Instead, set a proper appointment within your own diary so you can do whatever it is you want to do.

13.  "I'm not perfect and that's OK." Feeling like we have to be perfect before we take a certain next step in our lives holds many of us back. Take a moment to tell yourself that not everything has to be perfect to go forwards.

14. "That's my job but who cares." Being willing at times to step above and beyond your specific 'role' is a great way of being noticed and standing out in both work and life in general. Even if no one notices, you'll feel great knowing you made a difference.

15. "You're good enough right now, just like this." We all want to move forward, progress and accomplish certain things, however sometimes we simply need to remind ourselves that we are good solid people right here, right now. There is nothing more important and satisfying in life than being comfortable with who you are.

A Game Changer says...

Talking to yourself intentionally may seem like an odd thing to do but it is incredibly empowering and effective. Contrary to belief, self-talk does not mean you are going mad. It is a natural sense of behaviour, which is at times utilised by everyone.

Successful self-talk is what we all require and that it is why, like any other skill, it is important to practice the right type of self-talk regularly.

These 15 thoughts and actions will almost certainly assist you with being more contented, positive, confident and successful.

Mind Your Language!

Every day it’s our language that shapes us - the words and phrases that we use, the intonations and inflections, the positivity and negativity.

This language has a great impact on our state of mind and subsequently on our positivity, our productivity and our performance. It can be the vital component when breaking down achievement and non achievement. Therefore, it is crucial to be aware of our internal dialogue, so that we can have it working for us and not against us.

Within the sporting world, I have often heard people talk about ‘getting in their own way’ when they are performing. This means that they have created a conflict between their conscious and unconscious minds and are unable to remain congruent.

One of the main contributors to incongruence is the way in which we use language to speak to ourselves.

By using the right language we can make a very positive impact on our performance.

The importance around use of language when discussing the realm of the mind is massive and there is simply too much to cover in one article. However, just consider the following few words, their usage and the potential impact this can have on our beliefs and behaviour:

TRY

Very often you will hear people (yourself included I’m sure) saying that they will ‘try’ and do something. What does that actually mean? If I was to drop my car keys on the floor and ask you to ‘try’ and pick them up, you only have two options - either you pick them up or you don’t!

When someone uses the word ‘try’ a lot, it usually means they are giving themselves an option not to do something. When you remove ‘try’ from their language, the person is much more likely to be focused on succeeding.

HOPE

‘Hope’ is most definitely related to ‘try’. They are family. If you ask someone if they can do something and they reply “I hope so”, there is a fairly strong chance they don’t believe they can do it.

‘Hope’ like ‘try’ gives us an alternative. If we hope we will do something, we are allowing ourselves a get out clause - we might do it; we might not.

Normally when people use the word ‘hope’ a lot it signifies that they have a doubt or limiting belief. Where necessary, this needs to be identified and changed.

BUT

The word ‘but’ is pure magic. It has the ability to make anything that went before it disappear.

Positive feedback can be destroyed by the word ‘but’. E.g. “You played brilliantly today but…”, “that meeting went really well but…” etc.

What happens next is that people only remember the negatives.

If you simply replace the ‘but’ with an ‘and’, then any message being delivered is one of positivity not negativity and you are still conveying your thoughts as you wish.

Lastly, I want to share one final word with you that all on its own can drive our senseless habits and make us act irrationally.

That word is ‘Because.'

In 1977, psychologist Ellen Langer and her research team at Harvard University conducted an experiment that changed our understanding of human behaviour.

Langer asked her research assistants to cut in front of innocent people waiting in line at the photocopiers in the library. This is how it worked:

A researcher would spot someone waiting at the copy machine and walk over with the intention of cutting the person in line. Then, the researcher would look at the innocent bystander and ask them one of three questions:

Version 1 - “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine”

Version 2 - “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?”

Version 3 - “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make copies?”

I’m sure, like me, you’ve noticed that Version 3 doesn’t make much sense. Using the phrase “because I have to make copies” is a fairly useless reason for skipping the line, as everyone in the line is there to make copies!

The phrase contained no new information but the researcher was trying to use it to justify the favour anyway. Surprisingly, this senseless reason preformed well. When the data was analysed they found the following:

Version 1 - 60% of people let the researcher skip the line

Version 2 - 94% of people let the researcher skip the line

Version 3 - 93% of people let the researcher skip the line

Langer’s research, known as The Copy Machine study, was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

The study became famous because it uncovered one of the most powerful words we use to drive our behaviour - ‘because’.

Langer’s work proved that as long as we can justify a behaviour in our brains (“I’m doing this because…”), we would perform the behaviour even if the reason didn’t make sense!

Author, Robert Cialdini explained this phenomenon by saying, “A well known principle of human behaviour says that when we ask someone to do us a favour we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.”

A Game Changer says…

Take some time out to consider the language you tend to use on a daily basis. Perhaps ask a loved one or close friend to help out. This is not about running a critique, this is about helping yourself.

I can think of many occasions when I use the word ‘because’ simply to facilitate my own wishes and beliefs, yet knowing full well that my reasoning doesn’t always make sense. We often don’t question ourselves simply because we have a reason, even if it isn’t a good one.

I’d venture to say that we do this to ourselves in many areas of life:

Fitness - how are you justifying not exercising regularly?

Writing - what is your reason for why you can’t write each day?

Business - how is your mindset preventing you from progression?

The reasons that we use to guide our behaviour are just stories that we tell ourselves. Sometimes, those stories are true and accurate. We all have reasons for why “now isn’t quite the right time”, why we slip up on habits that we say are important to us and why we do favours for people.

What we often fail to realise, however, is that our behaviours can just as easily be driven by irrational reasons as logical ones! And yet we just plough on.

Utilising the right language in our daily lives will most definitely lead to a more positive mindset and quite often a better reality. It will also lead to better efficiency, performance and rapport whether it be in the workplace, on the sports field or at home.

Resolutions? Changes? Goals? Make Sure They're Attainable!

Happy New Year Everyone

At the start of a new year it is customary to set off at break neck speed with wonderful intentions of the new and the better.

In theory everything appears straightforward - you are pumped up, you know what you want and you set your targets - but in practice it is often very different.

Q: How many times do we set a new year’s resolution only to fall short and break it within the first few weeks?

A: If we are being honest, I’d imagine the answer is ‘Many’.

So, in order to get this right and start 2015 off as you’d like, let’s consider the right processes in order to help you achieve your goals.

Know Where You Are

When setting a goal, firstly you need to understand exactly what your present situation is? And secondly, is there anything stopping you from achieving your wanted outcome?

Be Specific

In order to set effective goals, it is important that they are specific. The more specific, the better the chance of you reaching it. (Detail, Detail, Detail).

Ensure It’s Measurable

For a specific goal to be effectively set, it is crucial to make it measurable otherwise you will have no way of knowing what had to happen to get there.

Is Your Goal Achievable?

Any goal you set must be within the realms of possibility. The way to know this is by removing any personal limitations and asking yourself if it is achievable?

Am I Being Realistic?

Only you can know whether a goal set is realistic or not. People have different perceptions on what is realistic. It is important that YOU are certain that it can and will happen.

Establish A Time Frame

It is nigh on impossible to achieve a goal without setting some form of time frame. The time frame should be as specific as possible. (DO NOT say “One day….”).

Not Too Big (NTB)

Finally, whenever you set a new goal make sure that it is NTB! This is a common recipe for disaster. Make any target incremental and achieve it steadily.

By referring to the seven parameters listed above, you will stand yourself in good stead when setting up any new year’s resolutions or goals going forward. Last but not least, don’t make setting a goal a burden! Make it a challenge and have fun with it! If your goal feels like a burden then it is either the wrong goal or it is has been set incorrectly.

A Game Changer Says…

Very few of us actually set our goals effectively. In fact, it has been estimated that only 5% of people set efficient and effective goals.

Goal setting is important in all walks of life. In a sporting context, having no goals would be like playing golf without a hole or snooker without the pockets!

Goals are vital in both the short and long term. In business, they help to propel a vision and also act as motivation. They can assist with focus, performance, achievement and confidence.

Success will ultimately depend on how, and the way, they are set.

There is a lot of attention to detail, intricacies, consideration and also personal understanding required when setting goals. Success in this arena can be more complex than it may look.

For further assistance and a more in depth look at how best to achieve your desired goals and outcomes for 2015 please do not hesitate to get in touch.